We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Randomize
