fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
