Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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