Too much gin, very little bucket
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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