i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
