Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
