we're blogging at a bar
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
