Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I need a beard to bite.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
