it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
