i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
