absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
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