Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
I forget how to act sober
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