i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
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