i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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