I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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