Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Randomize
