Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
