I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
