STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
