i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
