Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
