I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
