I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
