my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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