if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
