You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
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