I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize