everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize