True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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