He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
