You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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