K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
