Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Randomize
