He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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