somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
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