I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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