Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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