Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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