He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
