You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
