sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
