do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
