Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
