goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I think I am morally bankrupt
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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