love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
