Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
