Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
