now i know why i became what i already was.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
