I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
