so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
