Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
The adults are the big ones right?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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