So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
