My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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