Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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