Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
