I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
