I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
