They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize