My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
