Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I have fence marks all over my body
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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