Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
